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internetexplorers:

errorsanitynotfound:

internetexplorers:

why hasn’t anyone offered my parents 5 camels for my hand in marriage yet what am i doing wrong

its because you are worth at least 10 camels and they just cant afford you

this is the nicest thing anyone’s ever said to me

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-keepsmiling:

One time I heard my boyfriend had sex with another girl. So I called and asked him about it and he denied it, so I called the girl and she denied it too, and then I called my boyfriend back and told him that the girl had told me everything and he replied with “it was just one time. It meant nothing.” And then I replied with “fuck you, she didn’t tell me anything.” And that’s still my favorite story to tell.

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hurricane-barbie:

But I do…
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royalteens:

faeking:

seashull:


flohralovely:

oh my god this is beyond perfect

isnt this from how i met your mother? x


yeah

Perfect
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